Sunday, June 29, 2014

My Home Birth Experience - Part 2: The Aftermath

Part of my reason for having a home birth was not wanting any interventions. This included all bothersome, unknown people coming in and out of my room to check this and that for days on end. I realize that there have to be SOME examinations of baby and mama after birth to ensure that there are no complications. However, I feel that it is a bit over done in the hospital setting. I wanted as much private, quiet time with baby and family as I could get. Unfortunately, this never really happened for us.

This "Part 2" of my story is not quite as happy as "Part 1". If you haven't read "Part 1" of my home birth experience you can go HERE first, then come back.

The difference between having a good midwife as a caregiver and having a doctor is like night and day. I emphasize the word "good" because I'm sure they are not all equal.
A midwife will spend hours upon hours getting to know you. Not only will they get to know where you are physically but also emotionally, mentally, spiritually. Why? It helps build a connection between the pregnant woman and midwife and this helps when its time for labor and delivery. A woman's body can relax so much more when she is in the presence of people who she knows care about her and love her. I can attest to the comfort of having only people who I knew in my room with me. It made me feel safe, loved and cared for. I don't ever recall this overwhelming feeling of love in a hospital with a doctor who really only knew me physically for a few minutes at a time.

This next part may be TMI for some but it was pretty important to me. I have never previously had the desire to see any "parts" that came out of me besides my baby but this time my midwife asked if I was interested in seeing the placenta. I have to admit at first I said no. I really thought I would be grossed out by it. I overheard my husband and midwife talking about it in the other room. She was showing him this and that. This peeked my interest. So, I decided to let her show me.

I suppose you would call a placenta a temporary organ? It is amazing to me how the body produces this organ and that once it is no longer needed the body expels it almost immediately. I found a picture online (I did not think to take one of my own!) and will post it here. There is a part of the placenta that is called "the tree of life" it is a bunch of veins together that look like a tree. They surround the umbilical cord. This fascinated me!! 

I love this picture that I found. The thick piece in the middle that looks like the trunk of a tree is the umbilical cord. Obviously, the other side of it is connected to the baby. I just really wanted to share this part of my experience since it was something I had never been taught before even after having 3 kids previously!

Photography by: Jane McCrae Photography

As you have previously read, Noah was a BIG baby. I was able to push him out naturally but I did have a little problem getting his shoulders out due to him being stuck in my pelvis. This is called shoulder dystocia. You can learn a little more about it HERE.

After several attempts at pushing and several attempts of different maneuvers of moving his upper body, my midwife knew that we had to do something different to get him out quickly. His head was already out for a little bit while I was laying on my side. If you've read "Part 1" of my story you already know that she had me flip from my side to my hands and knees to open up my pelvis more. He needed to be pulled out because he was just not coming with my pushes. Unfortunately, in the process of all of this his humerus bone was broken. He was not moving his arm and because of this we knew we needed to have him looked at.

My midwife said that a lot of times a baby with shoulder dystocia will not transition very quickly. They may have a hard time breathing. Noah was such a trooper. He was SO healthy. He was breathing fine. His color was good. With the exception of a broken arm, he was perfect! However, we still needed to contact a pediatrician. This was the beginning of the horror of a story that would ensue.
The pediatrician  told us to come in right away so I fed Noah for as long as I could and bonded as much as I could before he had to be whisked away. I could not go with him because I could barely walk and could be in danger of hemorrhage as well. So, my husband took him to the doctor who was about 45 minutes away. They examined him and said he was in perfect health but wanted him to have x-rays to see what was wrong with his arm. My husband told them that he would get the x-rays but first wanted to get the baby back to me to eat. The doctor threatened to call child services if he did not go to get x-rays immediately. My husband and I felt that nursing and me seeing my brand new baby was more important because this obviously was NOT an emergency situation. We had the arm immobile and he was only in pain if we moved it. So, guess what? We didn't move it!


This doctor called us about 10 times within a 2 hour period threatening us and urging us to get x-rays immediately even though we told her that we would. So, after I fed the baby and spent maybe another 30 minutes with him my husband took him to a local ER. He got the x-rays and found that he did in fact have a broken humerus.
They told my husband that he would have to take an ambulance to Rainbows (over an hour drive) to be looked at by a specialist. My husband did not feel it was an emergency. Did I mention that this was 10 pm at night? My husband told them no. He would drive the baby himself after he took him back to me to feed him again before taking him on yet ANOTHER long drive. This was unacceptable to them. They said that if he did not allow the ambulance ride that when he got to Rainbows he would have to start the process all over again.
I got to feed my baby again and we all ended up falling asleep for awhile because we were so exhausted!

Meanwhile, we were receiving tons of messages from the previous pediatrician still threatening us and telling us we were putting our baby's life in danger and they will need to take action.

When my husband got to Rainbow Babies & Children's Hospital in Cleveland at 3:00 am, a resident orthopedic doctor looked at Noah and determined that his health was perfect and his arm was broken. He said that they would not set it or cast it. They would most likely keep it immobilized (which is what we were already doing) but they wanted an Orthopedic Specialist to look at it. This Specialist would not be in until sometime between 9:00 am and 12:00 pm. At this time it was 5:00 am. Noah had not been with me for about 4 hours at this point and keeping him until noon would've meant being without him (and him not being fed) for 12 hours. They said that he needed to stay (even though it was not an emergency situation) and they would give him formula.

A little background info: My son Max (who is now 2) had to be given formula as a newborn due to a doctor putting me on a medication that would not be good for a breastfeeding infant. He developed milk and soy allergies. He could not drink any formula because he would vomit forcefully and end up extremely sick. To this day he has food senstitivies. We were NOT going to do this with another one of our children.

My husband told the doctor he would not be giving him formula and that he would take Noah back to me (another hour and a half drive) to be fed and that he would bring him back as soon as they got a specialist in the building to look at him. This doctor said if my husband left that he would call Child Protective Services due to medical neglect of our child. Even though we had been to THREE hospitals that day and my husband was exhausted from driving everywhere. We couldn't believe they were accusing us of medical neglect!

My husband brought Noah home. I was SO happy to see him. I hadn't slept in over 48 hours and was so happy to have him with me again! I fed him and we slept in bed together for a few hours until we received a phone call from Child Services.

The case worker at Child Services told us that we needed to get the baby in RIGHT NOW or we were risking him being taken away. We told them what the doctor told us about just keeping it immobilized and that we really needed some sleep but we would bring him back when we got some rest. Child Services was okay with this plan but after a couple of hours they called us back again and said that Rainbows was not happy that we had not brought the baby back yet and that they had called the police and would be at our house soon.

The Sheriff showed up not long after that and thought he got the wrong house. He asked to see the baby. He determined that the baby was fine and could not understand why Rainbows was saying that the baby was in danger and was in excruciating pain. When the Sheriff got there Noah was sleeping soundly and freshly changed and fed. His arm was immobilized in an ace bandage that we put on because the doctor at Rainbows failed to do anything in the 2 hours that my husband was there. The Sheriff called Child Services and told him the baby was safe and well taken care of and there was no cause for alarm.

Rainbows continued to call Child Services over and over. Our case worker even talked to our midwife to make sure that we were being looked after. She eventually told us that if we did not go back to Rainbows that we were risking getting our child taken from us. At this point we really did not want to go back to that particular hospital since they were harassing us! We asked if it would be okay for us to choose a different hospital and our case worker from Child Services was okay with that.

We ended up in another ER that night. This time I went with my husband. I was in a wheelchair but I just wanted this to be over with and didn't want my husband to have to drive all the way back home again for Noah to be fed.

They took more x-rays and determined that he would not have a cast but would need an ace bandage to be wrapped around the arm to keep it immobilized. They gave us a fancier bandage then the one we had from home. I'm sure this bandage will eventually cost us a couple thousand dollars. This hospital also had us speak with a case worker. When we told them the story they told us they would not make their own report but would just contact our other case worker. Thank goodness!

We thought this would be the end of Child Services since we had done what they asked but they still wanted to make a home visit to make sure we were taking care of all of our children properly.  Once they did this they saw that our family was very healthy and there was no cause for alarm. They said we would receive a letter in the mail saying our case was closed. We still have not received this letter. They said that Rainbows continues to call them daily trying to charge us with medical neglect. I don't think I will rest well until we receive this letter.

I am paranoid that they will still try to take him from us. I cringe every time the phone rings when I don't recognize the number. I worry when my children fall or get hurt in any way. I am terrified of having to take any of my children to the doctor again for fear that they will think I've inflicted harm on them when I have not. I worry that we will not be able to afford all of the medical bills that will inevitably show up in our mailbox after all of this. Thank goodness he did not take that ambulance ride! I can't imagine what that bill would've been.

I have spoken to several people including a nurse at the alternate hospital we chose and came to the conclusion that this sort of thing is not uncommon when it comes to home births. Some doctors feel that home birth in general is neglectful.

I'm hoping this fight is over and that we can continue to adjust to our life with a new baby.

I did get my beautiful home birth experience. I wish that the after birth experience was just as wonderful.

I'm just happy that Noah is healthy and fat and wonderful and scrumptious. We love him so much and those are the things I will try to keep focus on.
               Here is baby Noah at 2 weeks old. He still has his fancy, expensive bandage on!


Friday, June 20, 2014

My Home Birth Experience - Part 1



I did not originally plan on having a home birth. I did know that I wanted to have a natural experience this time. Having had 3 previous births with hospital interventions, I just knew that I didn't want to do it that way again. I researched information on inductions, C-sections, epidurals, etc. It did not take me long to realize how many risks are associated with these things. I had experienced some of these risks already in previous births. With any birth, whether at home or in a hospital, there will always be some possible risks involved. It seems that no matter how much you plan there is really no way to know exactly how things will work out. My birth story is definitely not the story I thought that I would tell. I had something a little different in mind. However, it was the most amazing, wonderful, fulfilling experience I've ever had. Without further ado, my birth story....

Earlier in my pregnancy I called around and looked up doula's in my area. There weren't a ton but I finally found one that I felt comfortable with. As we talked at our appointments about my birth plan and what I wanted out of my hospital birth, I soon saw that I needed to start looking into home birth. I admit that I was quite afraid of even considering it at first because so many people (people who have never researched home births of course) told me how much more dangerous it was than being in a hospital. I also had those who told me their birth horror stories and said that had they been at home something horrible would've happened. Unfortunately, I came to find out that a big reason there are birth horror stories are because of the interventions that hospitals use all too freely. I know that home birth isn't for everyone. However, I personally no longer believe that being induced should be practiced so regularly. Low risk women don't need to be afraid to birth at home. Women have been doing this for hundreds of years and here's a little secret...Our bodies know exactly what to do!

Well, lucky for me I found out that my doula worked as a team with an experienced midwife and that she was also a midwife's apprentice. I just decided to go for it and release my fear. I asked tons of questions and read as much as I could. This helped ease the fear of the unknown.
I really loved the personal relationship that developed over time with these ladies. It is so hard to get to know a doctor due to how quickly you are rushed through your appointments. I loved that my appointments were over an hour to give time to really ask questions and get to know each other. I ended up feeling like they were family by the time the end of pregnancy got there.

I'm not going to lie, this pregnancy was hellish for me. I gained more weight than I wanted, had skin issues that required treatment, was stressed due to outside circumstances and became overly emotional. It was certainly not what I expected but I dealt with things as they came.

As I neared the end of pregnancy my baby boy seemed like he might be a little larger than the average but nothing really indicated he would be overly large. I had 2 eight pound babies in the past so I was no stranger to a larger baby. My belly started feeling much heavier than I had experienced in previous pregnancies. As I passed my due date I started to get a little concerned that he was going to be too big for me to push out naturally. Why did I think this? Because I've heard time and time again about how people have to be induced early because the baby is "too big" for their body. Again, I tried to release that fear and keep going. I tried everything I could to naturally get labor going at home. Walks, sex, bouncing on the yoga ball, walking up and down stairs were just a few things I tried. I was willing to let the baby bake the way he needed but if my body was ready then I was surely going to help to throw it over the edge!

At 6 days overdue I was really feeling fat and miserable and could barely get around. I was starting to think I'd be pregnant forever! I was feeling stressed with all the comments from people about how I should've had the baby already. I thought for some reason that it was my fault I wasn't going into labor. I felt like my body was broken and lost all confidence at the end.
 
This particular day I told my midwife how I was feeling. She told me that I needed to just believe in myself and that I can do this.  I felt comforted by the things she said to help gain my confidence back.
 
I finally decided to give up and leave it in God's hands.  I prayed, meditated, and just convinced myself that it was okay. I felt my confidence come back and knew that baby would come when he was ready. I knew that no matter what everything would be okay.
 
I decided to just go outside with my husband and kids and just have fun with them. It was a beautiful, sunny, warm day.  I picked strawberries, watched my 2 year old fish in our pond with my husband, did some gardening and then I did the ultimate; a ride on our four wheeler (don't ask me what on earth made me do that!)
I had SO much fun!! I forgot how stressed I was earlier that day.
 
I'm sure you can guess what happened later that night.
Around 10:30 pm I started having contractions which were much like the Braxton Hicks (practice contractions) I had been having for weeks so I didn't think much of it.
 
Then around 11:30 pm I noticed a slight pattern to them but I still didn't get too excited because that had happened a couple times as well. I wasn't convinced and also did not want to get excited and then stressed again if it was not the real deal
 
I finally just went to bed. I woke up at 1:30 am with a powerful contraction.  This contraction was enough to make me say "Oh! Well, THAT was different!"
At this point the contractions were about 15 minutes apart so I was able to sleep between them. As time went on they just kept getting closer and closer. I finally woke my husband when they were 5 minutes apart.  He said I shouldn't have woke him up yet because I had "a long way to go". He also didn't think I should bother the midwife just yet since it was the middle of the night. Not sure why, but I listened to him. I think the 'no confidence' factor came in to play again. I kept telling him that she said to call when they were FIFTEEN minutes apart since this was baby #4 and she was over an hour away. He ended up falling back asleep.
 
I walked around a lot and watched television while standing and rocking back and forth. I took a shower. I was really hungry so I had a cheese stick and some applesauce.  It was so nice to be able to do whatever I wanted while I was in labor! No more annoying hospital ice chips! No monitors and IV's everywhere! It was such a breath of fresh air.

By 5 am the contractions were 2 minutes apart and I really needed to breathe through them and concentrate.
My husband was still sleeping and I knew he didn't believe it was really going to happen because I had so many false alarms in the past so I just decided to call the midwife without waking him. She asked me if these contractions felt different than the ones I had been having previously. I said "For sure!". She said "We're on our way then!" She told me later that she knew it was the real deal just by the sound of my voice.
 
I woke hubby again and at that point I was moaning loudly through contractions so he knew I meant business. The only thing that felt comfortable was standing and rocking. Sitting was horrid.  Laying was unbearable.
 
Hubby started to get the bed ready and started setting up the birthing pool but I quickly realized I wouldn't be needing it since everything was going really fast. The contractions were one on top of the other. I felt nauseated and I was shaking. I told hubby to call and find out how soon my midwife would be there. He said 30 minutes! I knew from my reading that I was in transition because of the nausea and shaking. I knew it would be sooner than 30 minutes. It's really true that when you're at the point where you think you can't stand it anymore then you're almost done.
 
My body just started pushing on its own.  I couldn't control it even though I wanted to because my midwives weren't there yet! I finally laid down on my side on the bed moaning and grunting with each push.

My 12 year old daughter must've heard me because she came in the room. I had not planned on my kids being present for the birth but it just ended up working out that way. I'm not sure when my 10 year old son came in but he was there too.
 
My midwives finally arrived and I felt so relieved by that! I had already been pushing for a few minutes but she started helping my body by using counter pressure with some olive oil.  I was still on my side but they needed to hold my legs for me because I felt weak. I kept pushing and could feel his head out but the rest wouldn't budge. I was feeling a little frustrated. All of a sudden she very firmly said "you need to get on your hands & knees now!" I could not do this on my own. I was so tired! I just felt a bunch of hands flip me. These women are strong! My husband helped as well.
 
My kids were in there watching mom in her most primal state. I remember thinking "I hope they aren't scared, I hope they aren't going to be traumatized since I didn't prepare them for this". 
 
Once I was on my hands and knees I felt her reach her hand in to get him out. He was stuck!
Turning onto my hands and knees helped to open up the pelvis more. All of this happened so fast that I really didn't know what was going on. I just knew he wasn't coming out with my really hard pushes.
 
Later I found out that this really can be a potentially dangerous situation and thank goodness she had the training she had! She is such a powerful, smart, intuitive woman. She saved my baby's life!

I had my husband and 2 comforting, kind ladies taking care of me. I was given water as I labored. Gentle words were spoken. I knew everyone in that room and I was not afraid at all. I felt so loved!
 
After the birth was over I thought about how things may have gone had I been in a hospital bed with an epidural and on my back. How many interventions would have taken place to get the baby out? I certainly would not have been able to get on my hands and knees if my legs were numb. C-section? Episiotomy? Rips and tears to my perineum? Who knows!

I did have a very, very tiny superficial tear that did not require stitches. I couldn't believe it!
 
Finally, Noah made his healthy 10 lb 11oz entrance into the world at 7:16 am.  We had already picked his name out and felt strongly that he was a little "Noah". It turns out that he was not so little! 

My water never broke so he was born inside of his water sac. Isn't that kind of cool that a little boy named Noah was born along with all of his water behind him? Maybe he was hoping to have an arc built in time for labor and that's what kept him so long? Silly boy.
 
He is a wonderfully healthy, fat baby boy. Thanks to the skill of my midwives, help of my husband and the awesome power of my body, I had the home birth that I desired. I would not change a thing. I loved every minute.
 
Especially the minutes that did not involve contractions. ;)