Tuesday, September 3, 2013

10 Ways A Stay At Home Mom Gets Paid

   Have you ever heard a mom say something like this "I do ALL this work. I'm a taxi driver, a cook, I clean, do laundry and I don't get paid. I should get paid for all I do!" I have to admit that I'm guilty of quoting something like this a time or two.

Photograph by Jenne Cary
   As I've developed a more natural and holistic lifestyle, I've realized that I can't only worry about what goes into my mouth or on my skin but also what goes on in my mind. Holistic living involves learning how to de-stress. Part of de-stressing is learning to be grateful for what you already have and live for right now.
   This list does not only apply to stay-at-home moms. This can apply to all moms, dads, grandmothers who take care of their grandchildren, etc. I only use the stay-at-home mom stance because that's my experience.
   I created this list after thinking about all those little special joys in my life that I may not have been given if I weren't a mom, a "cook", and a "taxi driver". These are the ways that I get "paid", I'm sure you do too.


#1- Laughter

   This is one of my favorite things about being a mom. I would not laugh nearly as much if it weren't for my children. I still remember so many funny things that my kids have said and I laugh about them over and over. One thing that comes to mind is when my oldest son was 3, he was telling me his observations of what the colors on a stoplight meant. He said "Mom, I know red means stop. Green means go and yellow meeeeans.....maybe?" Obviously, he saw me confused quite a few times on what I should do at a yellow light! I have hundreds of these little quotes tucked right in my memory and I'm sure all moms do. On those days when you feel like you're unappreciated and you should receive payment, pull out one of those handy dandy quotes from that memory of yours and pay yourself!

#2-Accomplishments

   What a wonderful feeling to see this little person (or even when they're grown!) who you have raised and taught accomplish something. When that accomplishment is huge to them, it is a huge payment to us as moms. I love to see my children proud of something that they've accomplished. When they reach a goal or create something that they are proud of, I've learned to not just say "good job" but to actually acknowledge all of the hard work and effort they put in. "Good job" does not really say much but "Wow, you've worked so hard on that. I saw all the time you put in. You must be very excited to be able to hang that artwork up now." says so much more! It shows that I was paying attention all along the way and was right there with them but that they do not need my approval or "good jobs" in order to go out and accomplish their goals and feel good about themselves. Eventually, they will have that little voice in their head that says "Wow, I worked really hard on this!" NOT "Wait! Where's mom!? I have to feel good". It may sound like I'm thinking too deep but my kids have really responded to this and it's much more sincere.

#3-Friendships

   I don't know what I would do without my friends. Having good friends is so much better to me than any monetary gain I could receive. We all have friendships whether we're moms or not. However, there are certain people that I may not have created friendships with had we both not had a common interest; our kids. Being able to go to another mom and express feelings and know that they have felt the same way is such a relief. I could have never gotten through a couple of those potty training years if it weren't for my friends! Potty training can be excruciating. No joke.

#4-Education

   Being a stay-at-home mom presents a wonderful opportunity to learn how to be a teacher. Yes, you can teach math, the alphabet, and how to walk and talk. The most important teaching is how to raise another human being to be a source for good in the world. We learn how to teach someone to be independent even though we want to hold on. We learn how to discipline for their good even though we want to just give them the world. We learn to sacrifice and to teach sacrifice. We learn that we need to teach by example because they seem to be sponges that soak everything up. We learn to teach and we eventually realize that they've taught US a whole lot more than we've taught them.

#5-Love

   Love means different things to different people. I always claim that love is action. The word alone does not mean anything without an action behind it. In any close relationship we have to learn how the other person likes to be loved. Everyone is different. When you have more than one child, this can get tricky. My daughter likes to be taken out one on one and receive little gifts. My older son likes physical contact (i.e. hugs, back rubs, etc.). My toddler enjoys being sung to and talked to. Each child has their own needs. Have you noticed what individual needs your children have? I'm posing this question because it was not always so obvious to me and over time I had to figure it out. My children respond so well when I take time often to provide them with that one individual need that is unique to them. A lot of times just doing this simple action of love can prevent problem behaviors for attention. I love love.

#6-Youthfulness

   I sure hope that's a word because I want to hold onto that for awhile! Simply put, my kids keep me young. There are times when I wonder whether I would've gone for that bike ride or swung on those monkey bars had it not been for my kids. I really do like to swing on the monkey bars so maybe I would've done that anyway. I love to get on the floor and play. I love to blast the music and just dance with them. Forget all those wrinkle reducers and cellulite creams, bring on the kids!

#7-Talents

   There are talents that I've gained and some that I forgot I had that have been brought back to the surface by being a mom. What is a talent that you use with your children? You may not have been able to use or develop that talent in the exact same way without being a mom. Maybe you're a seamstress who has perfected her skill by making a new child's dress every week or two. Or maybe you're crafty and come up with nifty gadgets for your child to take to school and share with their class.  As we develop one talent, we are shown another and another. Some parents become coaches of their child's sports team. How fun! They probably would've never had that life experience without that child in their life. Talents are a fun thing to be paid with.

#8-Hugs & Kisses

   So, this one doesn't really need much of an explanation. I am okay with getting hugs and kisses from my kids any day. All day. For the rest of my life. That would be payment enough for me.

#9-Super Human Powers

   I'm really not being crazy here.  First of all, if you gave birth then you have super human powers right from the start. Then, you move to super hearing powers. When that little baby is sleeping either in the next room or right next to you, you can hear every little sound, breath and gurgle they make. Do you think everyone else hears that? Nope, just you! My husband could sleep through my son crying and when he felt me move out of the bed he'd say "What's wrong?" Ummm, hello? Baby crying? I always hoped that when I wasn't around, my super human hearing would be passed along to him somehow.
   After that, they start to get older and our super human protective powers kick in. For example, when my older son was about 4 he was playing in our boat that was parked in the driveway. I heard him screaming and I ran to him but the boat was up on a trailer and I would've had to take some time to climb up in there to get him. Instead of wasting time, somehow I was able to reach into a boat that was 3 feet over my head and pull him out of the middle of the boat. Do you think my arms were 10 feet long? It sure felt like they stretched that length! Super human protective powers commence! He was screaming because he was being stung by wasps (yikes!). Everything ended up being okay that day. None of us want to see harm done to our children and some go to great lengths to make sure that is accomplished.
   The last (but not least) super human power I want to write about is my favorite one. The super human healing kiss powers. How many times have you kissed a boo-boo and healed it? I know it's been so many times for me that I can't count them all! I am so happy that being a mom makes my kisses have healing power. Favorite. Power. Ever.

#10-Appreciation

  When I talk about being paid with appreciation, I am not talking about receiving appreciation from others. We all know that being appreciated doesn't happen quite as often as we'd like. I'm referring to the appreciation that we develop for OUR mothers and those who have gone before them. Isn't it wonderful to finally have that true understanding of what our mothers sacrificed for us? I know that I found a greater love for my mother and grandmothers after becoming a mom. It connected me to them a little more. I would've never received that deeper love and connection otherwise. Sometimes I have thought about how hard I was on her! She really should have never put up with me but she loved me the same way I love my own children in that there is really nothing they can do to make me love them any less.

Drawing by Sarah Trzcinski

   This is just a short list of ways I feel I'm paid as a stay-at-home mom. I would say with all of these payments, I'm rich! I know there are many more than these ten. Next time you're having one of those "Ugh, I should get paid for this" kinda days, embrace your mommy hood and tap into that super human memory bank of yours and pay yourself in full!



  

No comments:

Post a Comment