My Battle With Topical Steroid Withdrawal: Month 4

Well, here I am.
Another month has gone by.
I'm still in pain.
I'm still uncomfortable.
Topical steroid withdrawal still sucks.

HOWEVER, I am SO much better than I was 4 months ago. My body is truly healing itself.
4 months ago I had to sleep with ice packs all over my body and now I don't.
4 months ago my skin hurt so bad that I couldn't concentrate on anything else. That has gotten better.

There is no pill or quick fix for this so I guess I have to go through my ugly duckling phase to be a beautiful swan who will eventually be pain free.

If you have not yet read my original post on my skin condition you can go here.

I am sleeping better at night now. I still wake up itching like mad a few times a night but I am able to get back to sleep most of the time.

I started taking dead sea salt baths which are amazing for detoxing the body and do wonderful things for the skin. The baths feel great while I'm in there but as soon as I am out and my skin starts to dry I am an itchy, red mess again. I can't wait until the day I can comfortably take a shower again!

I have been taking pictures of my progress. I would've never thought to do this but others who have healed from this condition recommend doing it so that you can tell the difference from month to month. It is such a slow healing process and it is so easy to lose hope that you will ever get better. The pictures really help to give hope of better days to come!


I take lots of supplements because I want make sure I am not deficient in anything. Here is a list of what I take and why:

Omega 3, 6, 9: Fish oil is not only great for the skin but an amazing anti-inflammatory.
Biotin: About 2 weeks after I started taking this my eyelashes and eyebrows started growing back with the quickness!
Turmeric: A great antioxidant and anti-inflammatory.
Prenatal: Yes, it's a gummy because I'm still as kid at heart. I'm still nursing the little guy so I'll keep taking this for now.
Calcium: Steroid usage can deplete the calcium in your body. Also, it's good to take it when you're nursing.
Vitamin E: Great for the skin. The Garden of Life Vitamin Code brand is great because it also includes digestive enzymes and a probiotic.
Vitamin C: Anti-inflammatory and good for immune system
Magnesium: A lot of people are deficient in magnesium. It is great for the nervous system and can help with sleep as well if taken at night.
Vitamin D3 drops: Great immune system booster!

They are not all pictured here but this is most of what I take daily

I know it seems like a lot but they have all been helping immensely and I feel so much better taking them coupled with a good diet.

As I said in my last post, I really hate posting these pictures. It's really embarrassing for me and I hate feeling so ugly! But I know it won't always be this way so I will continue to raise awareness the best way I know how.
Please visit Itsan.org

The left side was last month (month 3 of withdrawal from topical steroids)
The right side is month 4

During week 1 I started to become red and burning everywhere
Month 1 I lost most of my eyelashes and eyebrows with extra skin folds and wrinkles
Month 4: Most of eyebrows are back (thank you biotin!), folds are gone, still have pink areas

My neck and chest have been THEE worst areas. It is so very uncomfortable
for me to turn my head or lift it up and down because the skin isn't
movable.
The top picture was month 3
Bottom picture month 4

Confessions of a Topical Steroid User

Since this blog and a lot of my life has been dedicated to natural healing methods and holistic ways of getting and staying well, I have not (up until this point) talked about my steroid addiction. This article is going to be very difficult for me to write. This article will probably be very difficult for me to post publicly once I've written it.

If you go back and read my very first blog post here you will find that I had been to many doctors, changed my diet, started using essential oils, etc. in hopes of making the inflammation within (and without) my body go away. While all of that has changed my life and made my family and I healthier, it still never completely took away my original reason for trying to heal my body in the first place.

It all started three years ago with a small rash on my face above my upper lip. I was diagnosed differently with each doctor that I saw and given steroid prescriptions by each one of them. I now believe that this rash was just a small amount of eczema resurfacing. I've had eczema on and off most of my life. I would just dab on that steroid cream and BAM, rash gone.  It was the only thing I could use that would show immediate relief. Call me vain but if it was not on my face, I probably would've tried to hold off until a natural healing approach worked. I just was so embarrassed by how I looked and not to mention it was painful to talk and eat. So, I put steroid cream on it once in awhile.

 I have recently learned that steroids have a cumulative effect. Yes, even topical steroids. Your body remembers them. So, when I would use a little here and a little there over the years my body would "remember" the last time I used it as if I had never stopped. This is where the addiction can come in.
No doctor EVER told me what harm steroids could cause. Not one doctor told me how potent of a steroid they were giving me and what it would do to me if I had long term use. One dermatologist prescribed me a topical anti inflammatory/immunosuppressant (not a steroid) Elidel and did tell me that it had a black box warning for skin cancer. Of course I was very cautious with that one!

For THREE years I was applying steroids. It started with a mild steroid just on my face above my lip. Then, it spread to other parts of my face. After the mild steroids weren't working, a stronger one was prescribed. Then the rash started spreading to my neck, chest, arms, legs, back, SCALP!
I eventually had to go on oral steroids because the topicals just weren't doing their job anymore. The oral steroids barely worked and I went off of those. I still had rashes everywhere.

After I had my last son I got on my knees and poured my heart out to my Heavenly Father. "What is WRONG with me? Why am I in so much pain. Why won't it go away? Please lead me to my answer. Please guide me on my path so that I might help myself and others who may have whatever this is." I cried and cried to Him.  When I got up from that prayer, I went to the  computer and typed in "Topical Steroid Addiction". I had no idea where that came from. I had no idea why I typed those words in particular. I now know that I was being led. God had answered my prayer immediately in my moment of distress. I was led to a website called ITSAN.ORG. It stands for International Topical Steroid Awareness Network. Through this website I read about people just like me. People who started with something so small and ended up with something uncontrollably painful.

I found out that THE ONLY way to get better was to STOP. USING. STEROIDS.
 I was so afraid of this! I knew what was going to happen because I had tried to stop before and everything got worse. But I wanted to get better so I chose to make a commitment and do it.

Imagine the worst torture and pain you could ever experience in your life, then times that by 100. The first month I was itching down to the bone everywhere, burning like I had third degree burns, oozing, swelling, bleeding, feeling 'pin pricks', no sleep at all, shedding skin all over the place, etc. It was constant all day, all night and nothing made it go away. I cried for weeks. I cried and screamed in pain in the shower. I didn't want to go anywhere. I didn't want to see anyone. Most people didn't know what I was going through. I wanted to apply lotions because I was so dry but it burned so bad. I prayed and continue to pray constantly for strength that I DO receive.

There is a dermatologist who 'discovered' this issue. Dr. Marvin Rapaport is a co-founder of the ITSAN organization. You can read more about him HERE. There is also a short Questions and Answers video with him on YouTube that is very informative if you'd like more information. Click here for video.

A lot of doctors do not believe that topical steroids can cause an addiction issue. They know this can happen with oral steroids though. They will tell you that topical steroids can thin the skin but that's about it. I had been told by one doctor that I probably had lupus, another doctor said I had major adrenal fatigue, another said I had a thyroid issue, another said I had an allergy to gold and vanilla, another said it was probably some contact allergy that I would have to figure out. Not one said it could be my steroid usage. They all knew I was using them. I have since found that long term steroid usage can lead to these things or I should say the appearance of these things. The body is just so sensitive.

My adrenal function is totally messed up. My body now needs to 'learn' how to use its adrenal glands again which are responsible for so many things in the body including the reduction of inflammation. My body now overproduces histamines. If I scratch my leg, my whole body will itch for an hour. I have "elephant skin" on my neck which is a thickening of the skin. The medical term would be lichenification. I also had it bad on my eyelids but that is actually almost healed thank goodness! My skin is also so thin in certain spots that if I just bump up against it it will bleed. My lymph nodes are swollen as my body is trying to detox.

This has been very hard for me since I just had a baby 3 months ago and the first 2 months it was not even enjoyable to hold him or feed him because it hurt to have anyone touch me. I feel guilty that I was not really enjoying my baby the way that I could have been.

I am happy to report that I AM healing but very slowly. It has been three months and I am finally now sleeping at night. Some nights I still awake itching but I am usually able to get back to sleep fairly quickly. My first 2 months of healing I was up all night scratching myself until I bled. Showers are still an issue. It really hurts to be in water at all but I don't want to be stinky! I am just getting to the point where I can wear a little bit of make up and it doesn't drive my skin crazy. I lost most of my eyebrow hair and eyelashes but those have grown back a lot. I'm still very dry and flaky but I've found a cream that helps and my face doesn't burn like crazy as it used to.

Reluctantly, I am going to post photos below of before and now just to show progress. This is so embarrassing for me but I really am trying to raise awareness. I know that steroids play a good part in the medical community but, like antibiotics, I believe they are overused and the full risks are not disclosed. If you or someone you know has to use a ton of topical steroids, orals or injections to control spreading eczema then they are more than likely suffering from steroid addiction. It will just continue to worsen and it causes many side effects including a weakened immune system.

Please, PLEASE do not use them on your children like I did! If you go to Itsan.org you will read stories and see pictures of many children who have had to suffer through this. It is a nightmare for them and their parents.

Dr. Rapaport has seen over 2000 patients with this skin condition and they have ALL healed from this. This gives me hope. Patience is key with this healing process as it can take months to years to finally heal. I still have good days and bad days. I have flares. I was in a constant state of a flare for the first month but now my flares only last days instead of weeks. I can't wait for the day when I am finally healed and can feel comfortable in my own skin again.


Note: These pictures were taken with different devices, in different lighting, and on different days but you will get the idea.




My neck and chest at 8 weeks off
topical steroids

My neck and chest at 2 days off topical
steroids.



My arm 8 weeks during a flare

 



4 weeks after stopping steroids
(lost eyebrows, thick extra folds in
eyelids)



The day I stopped using steroids







My face now during a flare
(3 months off topical
steroids)



My face now when I'm NOT
flaring & eyebrows are
coming back.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 





 







 

 





My Home Birth Experience - Part 2: The Aftermath

Part of my reason for having a home birth was not wanting any interventions. This included all bothersome, unknown people coming in and out of my room to check this and that for days on end. I realize that there have to be SOME examinations of baby and mama after birth to ensure that there are no complications. However, I feel that it is a bit over done in the hospital setting. I wanted as much private, quiet time with baby and family as I could get. Unfortunately, this never really happened for us.

This "Part 2" of my story is not quite as happy as "Part 1". If you haven't read "Part 1" of my home birth experience you can go HERE first, then come back.

The difference between having a good midwife as a caregiver and having a doctor is like night and day. I emphasize the word "good" because I'm sure they are not all equal.
A midwife will spend hours upon hours getting to know you. Not only will they get to know where you are physically but also emotionally, mentally, spiritually. Why? It helps build a connection between the pregnant woman and midwife and this helps when its time for labor and delivery. A woman's body can relax so much more when she is in the presence of people who she knows care about her and love her. I can attest to the comfort of having only people who I knew in my room with me. It made me feel safe, loved and cared for. I don't ever recall this overwhelming feeling of love in a hospital with a doctor who really only knew me physically for a few minutes at a time.

This next part may be TMI for some but it was pretty important to me. I have never previously had the desire to see any "parts" that came out of me besides my baby but this time my midwife asked if I was interested in seeing the placenta. I have to admit at first I said no. I really thought I would be grossed out by it. I overheard my husband and midwife talking about it in the other room. She was showing him this and that. This peeked my interest. So, I decided to let her show me.

I suppose you would call a placenta a temporary organ? It is amazing to me how the body produces this organ and that once it is no longer needed the body expels it almost immediately. I found a picture online (I did not think to take one of my own!) and will post it here. There is a part of the placenta that is called "the tree of life" it is a bunch of veins together that look like a tree. They surround the umbilical cord. This fascinated me!! 

I love this picture that I found. The thick piece in the middle that looks like the trunk of a tree is the umbilical cord. Obviously, the other side of it is connected to the baby. I just really wanted to share this part of my experience since it was something I had never been taught before even after having 3 kids previously!

Photography by: Jane McCrae Photography

As you have previously read, Noah was a BIG baby. I was able to push him out naturally but I did have a little problem getting his shoulders out due to him being stuck in my pelvis. This is called shoulder dystocia. You can learn a little more about it HERE.

After several attempts at pushing and several attempts of different maneuvers of moving his upper body, my midwife knew that we had to do something different to get him out quickly. His head was already out for a little bit while I was laying on my side. If you've read "Part 1" of my story you already know that she had me flip from my side to my hands and knees to open up my pelvis more. He needed to be pulled out because he was just not coming with my pushes. Unfortunately, in the process of all of this his humerus bone was broken. He was not moving his arm and because of this we knew we needed to have him looked at.

My midwife said that a lot of times a baby with shoulder dystocia will not transition very quickly. They may have a hard time breathing. Noah was such a trooper. He was SO healthy. He was breathing fine. His color was good. With the exception of a broken arm, he was perfect! However, we still needed to contact a pediatrician. This was the beginning of the horror of a story that would ensue.
The pediatrician  told us to come in right away so I fed Noah for as long as I could and bonded as much as I could before he had to be whisked away. I could not go with him because I could barely walk and could be in danger of hemorrhage as well. So, my husband took him to the doctor who was about 45 minutes away. They examined him and said he was in perfect health but wanted him to have x-rays to see what was wrong with his arm. My husband told them that he would get the x-rays but first wanted to get the baby back to me to eat. The doctor threatened to call child services if he did not go to get x-rays immediately. My husband and I felt that nursing and me seeing my brand new baby was more important because this obviously was NOT an emergency situation. We had the arm immobile and he was only in pain if we moved it. So, guess what? We didn't move it!


This doctor called us about 10 times within a 2 hour period threatening us and urging us to get x-rays immediately even though we told her that we would. So, after I fed the baby and spent maybe another 30 minutes with him my husband took him to a local ER. He got the x-rays and found that he did in fact have a broken humerus.
They told my husband that he would have to take an ambulance to Rainbows (over an hour drive) to be looked at by a specialist. My husband did not feel it was an emergency. Did I mention that this was 10 pm at night? My husband told them no. He would drive the baby himself after he took him back to me to feed him again before taking him on yet ANOTHER long drive. This was unacceptable to them. They said that if he did not allow the ambulance ride that when he got to Rainbows he would have to start the process all over again.
I got to feed my baby again and we all ended up falling asleep for awhile because we were so exhausted!

Meanwhile, we were receiving tons of messages from the previous pediatrician still threatening us and telling us we were putting our baby's life in danger and they will need to take action.

When my husband got to Rainbow Babies & Children's Hospital in Cleveland at 3:00 am, a resident orthopedic doctor looked at Noah and determined that his health was perfect and his arm was broken. He said that they would not set it or cast it. They would most likely keep it immobilized (which is what we were already doing) but they wanted an Orthopedic Specialist to look at it. This Specialist would not be in until sometime between 9:00 am and 12:00 pm. At this time it was 5:00 am. Noah had not been with me for about 4 hours at this point and keeping him until noon would've meant being without him (and him not being fed) for 12 hours. They said that he needed to stay (even though it was not an emergency situation) and they would give him formula.

A little background info: My son Max (who is now 2) had to be given formula as a newborn due to a doctor putting me on a medication that would not be good for a breastfeeding infant. He developed milk and soy allergies. He could not drink any formula because he would vomit forcefully and end up extremely sick. To this day he has food senstitivies. We were NOT going to do this with another one of our children.

My husband told the doctor he would not be giving him formula and that he would take Noah back to me (another hour and a half drive) to be fed and that he would bring him back as soon as they got a specialist in the building to look at him. This doctor said if my husband left that he would call Child Protective Services due to medical neglect of our child. Even though we had been to THREE hospitals that day and my husband was exhausted from driving everywhere. We couldn't believe they were accusing us of medical neglect!

My husband brought Noah home. I was SO happy to see him. I hadn't slept in over 48 hours and was so happy to have him with me again! I fed him and we slept in bed together for a few hours until we received a phone call from Child Services.

The case worker at Child Services told us that we needed to get the baby in RIGHT NOW or we were risking him being taken away. We told them what the doctor told us about just keeping it immobilized and that we really needed some sleep but we would bring him back when we got some rest. Child Services was okay with this plan but after a couple of hours they called us back again and said that Rainbows was not happy that we had not brought the baby back yet and that they had called the police and would be at our house soon.

The Sheriff showed up not long after that and thought he got the wrong house. He asked to see the baby. He determined that the baby was fine and could not understand why Rainbows was saying that the baby was in danger and was in excruciating pain. When the Sheriff got there Noah was sleeping soundly and freshly changed and fed. His arm was immobilized in an ace bandage that we put on because the doctor at Rainbows failed to do anything in the 2 hours that my husband was there. The Sheriff called Child Services and told him the baby was safe and well taken care of and there was no cause for alarm.

Rainbows continued to call Child Services over and over. Our case worker even talked to our midwife to make sure that we were being looked after. She eventually told us that if we did not go back to Rainbows that we were risking getting our child taken from us. At this point we really did not want to go back to that particular hospital since they were harassing us! We asked if it would be okay for us to choose a different hospital and our case worker from Child Services was okay with that.

We ended up in another ER that night. This time I went with my husband. I was in a wheelchair but I just wanted this to be over with and didn't want my husband to have to drive all the way back home again for Noah to be fed.

They took more x-rays and determined that he would not have a cast but would need an ace bandage to be wrapped around the arm to keep it immobilized. They gave us a fancier bandage then the one we had from home. I'm sure this bandage will eventually cost us a couple thousand dollars. This hospital also had us speak with a case worker. When we told them the story they told us they would not make their own report but would just contact our other case worker. Thank goodness!

We thought this would be the end of Child Services since we had done what they asked but they still wanted to make a home visit to make sure we were taking care of all of our children properly.  Once they did this they saw that our family was very healthy and there was no cause for alarm. They said we would receive a letter in the mail saying our case was closed. We still have not received this letter. They said that Rainbows continues to call them daily trying to charge us with medical neglect. I don't think I will rest well until we receive this letter.

I am paranoid that they will still try to take him from us. I cringe every time the phone rings when I don't recognize the number. I worry when my children fall or get hurt in any way. I am terrified of having to take any of my children to the doctor again for fear that they will think I've inflicted harm on them when I have not. I worry that we will not be able to afford all of the medical bills that will inevitably show up in our mailbox after all of this. Thank goodness he did not take that ambulance ride! I can't imagine what that bill would've been.

I have spoken to several people including a nurse at the alternate hospital we chose and came to the conclusion that this sort of thing is not uncommon when it comes to home births. Some doctors feel that home birth in general is neglectful.

I'm hoping this fight is over and that we can continue to adjust to our life with a new baby.

I did get my beautiful home birth experience. I wish that the after birth experience was just as wonderful.

I'm just happy that Noah is healthy and fat and wonderful and scrumptious. We love him so much and those are the things I will try to keep focus on.

               Here is baby Noah at 2 weeks old. He still has his fancy, expensive bandage on!

My Home Birth Experience - Part 1

I did not originally plan on having a home birth. I did know that I wanted to have a natural experience this time. Having had 3 previous births with hospital interventions, I just knew that I didn't want to do it that way again. I researched information on inductions, C-sections, epidurals, etc. It did not take me long to realize how many risks are associated with these things. I had experienced some of these risks already in previous births. With any birth, whether at home or in a hospital, there will always be some possible risks involved. It seems that no matter how much you plan there is really no way to know exactly how things will work out. My birth story is definitely not the story I thought that I would tell. I had something a little different in mind. However, it was the most amazing, wonderful, fulfilling experience I've ever had. Without further ado, my birth story....

Earlier in my pregnancy I called around and looked up doula's in my area. There weren't a ton but I finally found one that I felt comfortable with. As we talked at our appointments about my birth plan and what I wanted out of my hospital birth, I soon saw that I needed to start looking into home birth. I admit that I was quite afraid of even considering it at first because so many people (people who have never researched home births of course) told me how much more dangerous it was than being in a hospital. I also had those who told me their birth horror stories and said that had they been at home something horrible would've happened. Unfortunately, I came to find out that a big reason there are birth horror stories are because of the interventions that hospitals use all too freely. I know that home birth isn't for everyone. However, I personally no longer believe that being induced should be practiced so regularly. Low risk women don't need to be afraid to birth at home. Women have been doing this for hundreds of years and here's a little secret...Our bodies know exactly what to do!

Well, lucky for me I found out that my doula worked as a team with an experienced midwife and that she was also a midwife's apprentice. I just decided to go for it and release my fear. I asked tons of questions and read as much as I could. This helped ease the fear of the unknown.
I really loved the personal relationship that developed over time with these ladies. It is so hard to get to know a doctor due to how quickly you are rushed through your appointments. I loved that my appointments were over an hour to give time to really ask questions and get to know each other. I ended up feeling like they were family by the time the end of pregnancy got there.

I'm not going to lie, this pregnancy was hellish for me. I gained more weight than I wanted, had skin issues that required treatment, was stressed due to outside circumstances and became overly emotional. It was certainly not what I expected but I dealt with things as they came.

As I neared the end of pregnancy my baby boy seemed like he might be a little larger than the average but nothing really indicated he would be overly large. I had 2 eight pound babies in the past so I was no stranger to a larger baby. My belly started feeling much heavier than I had experienced in previous pregnancies. As I passed my due date I started to get a little concerned that he was going to be too big for me to push out naturally. Why did I think this? Because I've heard time and time again about how people have to be induced early because the baby is "too big" for their body. Again, I tried to release that fear and keep going. I tried everything I could to naturally get labor going at home. Walks, sex, bouncing on the yoga ball, walking up and down stairs were just a few things I tried. I was willing to let the baby bake the way he needed but if my body was ready then I was surely going to help to throw it over the edge!

At 6 days overdue I was really feeling fat and miserable and could barely get around. I was starting to think I'd be pregnant forever! I was feeling stressed with all the comments from people about how I should've had the baby already. I thought for some reason that it was my fault I wasn't going into labor. I felt like my body was broken and lost all confidence at the end.
 

This particular day I told my midwife how I was feeling. She told me that I needed to just believe in myself and that I can do this.  I felt comforted by the things she said to help gain my confidence back.
 

I finally decided to give up and leave it in God's hands.  I prayed, meditated, and just convinced myself that it was okay. I felt my confidence come back and knew that baby would come when he was ready. I knew that no matter what everything would be okay.
 

I decided to just go outside with my husband and kids and just have fun with them. It was a beautiful, sunny, warm day.  I picked strawberries, watched my 2 year old fish in our pond with my husband, did some gardening and then I did the ultimate; a ride on our four wheeler (don't ask me what on earth made me do that!)

I had SO much fun!! I forgot how stressed I was earlier that day.
 

I'm sure you can guess what happened later that night.

Around 10:30 pm I started having contractions which were much like the Braxton Hicks (practice contractions) I had been having for weeks so I didn't think much of it.
 

Then around 11:30 pm I noticed a slight pattern to them but I still didn't get too excited because that had happened a couple times as well. I wasn't convinced and also did not want to get excited and then stressed again if it was not the real deal
 

I finally just went to bed. I woke up at 1:30 am with a powerful contraction.  This contraction was enough to make me say "Oh! Well, THAT was different!"

At this point the contractions were about 15 minutes apart so I was able to sleep between them. As time went on they just kept getting closer and closer. I finally woke my husband when they were 5 minutes apart.  He said I shouldn't have woke him up yet because I had "a long way to go". He also didn't think I should bother the midwife just yet since it was the middle of the night. Not sure why, but I listened to him. I think the 'no confidence' factor came in to play again. I kept telling him that she said to call when they were FIFTEEN minutes apart since this was baby #4 and she was over an hour away. He ended up falling back asleep.
 

I walked around a lot and watched television while standing and rocking back and forth. I took a shower. I was really hungry so I had a cheese stick and some applesauce.  It was so nice to be able to do whatever I wanted while I was in labor! No more annoying hospital ice chips! No monitors and IV's everywhere! It was such a breath of fresh air.

By 5 am the contractions were 2 minutes apart and I really needed to breathe through them and concentrate.

My husband was still sleeping and I knew he didn't believe it was really going to happen because I had so many false alarms in the past so I just decided to call the midwife without waking him. She asked me if these contractions felt different than the ones I had been having previously. I said "For sure!". She said "We're on our way then!" She told me later that she knew it was the real deal just by the sound of my voice.
 

I woke hubby again and at that point I was moaning loudly through contractions so he knew I meant business. The only thing that felt comfortable was standing and rocking. Sitting was horrid.  Laying was unbearable.
 

Hubby started to get the bed ready and started setting up the birthing pool but I quickly realized I wouldn't be needing it since everything was going really fast. The contractions were one on top of the other. I felt nauseated and I was shaking. I told hubby to call and find out how soon my midwife would be there. He said 30 minutes! I knew from my reading that I was in transition because of the nausea and shaking. I knew it would be sooner than 30 minutes. It's really true that when you're at the point where you think you can't stand it anymore then you're almost done.
 

My body just started pushing on its own.  I couldn't control it even though I wanted to because my midwives weren't there yet! I finally laid down on my side on the bed moaning and grunting with each push.

My 12 year old daughter must've heard me because she came in the room. I had not planned on my kids being present for the birth but it just ended up working out that way. I'm not sure when my 10 year old son came in but he was there too.
 

My midwives finally arrived and I felt so relieved by that! I had already been pushing for a few minutes but she started helping my body by using counter pressure with some olive oil.  I was still on my side but they needed to hold my legs for me because I felt weak. I kept pushing and could feel his head out but the rest wouldn't budge. I was feeling a little frustrated. All of a sudden she very firmly said "you need to get on your hands & knees now!" I could not do this on my own. I was so tired! I just felt a bunch of hands flip me. These women are strong! My husband helped as well.
 

My kids were in there watching mom in her most primal state. I remember thinking "I hope they aren't scared, I hope they aren't going to be traumatized since I didn't prepare them for this". 
 

Once I was on my hands and knees I felt her reach her hand in to get him out. He was stuck!

Turning onto my hands and knees helped to open up the pelvis more. All of this happened so fast that I really didn't know what was going on. I just knew he wasn't coming out with my really hard pushes.
 

Later I found out that this really can be a potentially dangerous situation and thank goodness she had the training she had! She is such a powerful, smart, intuitive woman. She saved my baby's life!

I had my husband and 2 comforting, kind ladies taking care of me. I was given water as I labored. Gentle words were spoken. I knew everyone in that room and I was not afraid at all. I felt so loved!
 

After the birth was over I thought about how things may have gone had I been in a hospital bed with an epidural and on my back. How many interventions would have taken place to get the baby out? I certainly would not have been able to get on my hands and knees if my legs were numb. C-section? Episiotomy? Rips and tears to my perineum? Who knows!

I did have a very, very tiny superficial tear that did not require stitches. I couldn't believe it!
 

Finally, Noah made his healthy 10 lb 11oz entrance into the world at 7:16 am.  We had already picked his name out and felt strongly that he was a little "Noah". It turns out that he was not so little! 

My water never broke so he was born inside of his water sac. Isn't that kind of cool that a little boy named Noah was born along with all of his water behind him? Maybe he was hoping to have an arc built in time for labor and that's what kept him so long? Silly boy.
 

He is a wonderfully healthy, fat baby boy. Thanks to the skill of my midwives, help of my husband and the awesome power of my body, I had the home birth that I desired. I would not change a thing. I loved every minute.
 

Especially the minutes that did not involve contractions. ;)

10 Things You Should Never Say To A Pregnant Woman

 

I realize that most people are well-meaning. Most comments toward a pregnant woman are not meant to be malicious attacks against what her parenting style will be, the way she looks or the choices she is making. I truly think that some people just have NO clue what to say to a pregnant woman. Guess what? You don't have to say anything at all about the pregnancy! It's not in the rules that when you see a baby bump you would be rude not to tell about your experience or how you think she looks. Pregnant women are totally okay with that.
With that said, I am currently 27 weeks pregnant with my fourth child. I have heard it all before. I sometimes have a sarcastic sense of humor. I didn't write this article in anger or irritation. I absolutely love being pregnant and love that I will be holding another little bundle in a few months. It's all in good fun of course.

1.  ARE YOU PREGNANT?

    What the pregnant woman hears : "You are looking a little chunky in the mid-section. You either choked down one too many donuts or there has to be a baby in there!"
    What she wants to say back but won't: "No, I'm not pregnant. I swallowed a volleyball. They couldn't get it out at the ER so we are just leaving it in there for now."
    What you could say instead: "Hi, how are you. Nice to see you."

I know that curiosity sometimes gets the best of us. The problem is, what if you say this to someone and they are NOT pregnant? You have just completely insulted them by letting them know you have noticed their fat accumulation.


      2.  YOU LOOK LIKE YOU'RE READY TO POP!

     What the pregnant woman hears: "You look like a beached whale!"
     What she wants to say back but won't: "I realize that I can't see my toes. Now stop comparing me to a hot air balloon."
     What you could say instead: "You are looking lovely as usual."

During the last few months of pregnancy a woman's abdomen tends to get larger and larger as she nears her birthing time. It is not necessary to point out over and over how large her belly has gotten. She is fully aware and does not need to know that YOU are aware also.


     3.  YOU'RE STILL PREGNANT?!

    What the pregnant woman hears: "Something is very wrong with you seeing as how that baby is still in your womb. Go ride over a set of railroad tracks to ease my mind"
    What she wants to say back but won't: "Yes, I'm still pregnant. If I was not still pregnant I would obviously have an infant in my arms."
    What you could say instead: "Let's have lunch soon. I miss your company."

This question to a pregnant woman is just completely unnecessary. If she was pregnant the last time you saw her and still has a belly and/or she is not carrying a baby then you can bet your bottom dollar that she is still pregnant.


     4.  BETTER YOU THAN ME!

    What the pregnant woman hears: "You are in such a horrible predicament. I am so glad that I'm not in your position. I would just shoot myself."
    What she wants to say back but won't: "I am currently creating a whole other human being. What super powers do you have?"
    What you could say instead: "The best part of pregnancy for me was.... What is the best part for you if you don't mind me asking?"

All I can say to this one is that it can ONLY be perceived as rude and negative. So, even if you don't mean it that way please keep it to yourself.


    5.  ARE YOU GOING TO HAVE ANOTHER ONE AFTER THIS?

    What the pregnant woman hears: "Are you planning on getting it on with your husband AGAIN with no protection? Have some control woman!"
    What she wants to say back but won't: "Are you serious? I'm still pregnant! I'm not thinking about doing this again yet. Sheesh..."
    What you could say instead: "I bet your baby is going to be absolutely wonderful!"
   

This is such a personal thing to ask someone. Family planning is for the family. There are things that you just do not need to know. It does not benefit you in anyway to know whether someone is planning on having 3 or 8 children. That is for them to plan and think about. You have no weight in that decision. If they decide to have another baby in 2 years, you will know about it then.


     6.  ENJOY LIFE NOW, WHILE YOU STILL CAN.

    What the pregnant woman hears: "Life is going to suck in a few months."
    What she wants to say back but won't: "As a matter of fact, my attitude about it is completely the opposite. I will enjoy life so much more after the baby is born. That is why I am pregnant in the first place!"
    What you could say instead: "Life is going to be amazing with that new baby of yours!"

Most women who get pregnant on purpose don't do it thinking that they are going to endure a life of complete misery and pain. They are doing it for the joy. The joy of having a family. The joy that comes from raising a child. Of course there will be moments of sadness, some sleepless nights and other things that come along with parenthood but to imply that they will not be able to enjoy life again is just such a very negative statement and should be withheld.


    7.  GET ALL YOUR SLEEP NOW BEFORE THE BABY COMES.

    What the pregnant woman hears: "You will turn into a flesh eating zombie in 3 months."
    What she wants to say back but won't: "Umm, sleep? I would like you to go buy a watermelon right now. When you go to sleep tonight stick it under your sheets and lay on top of it. Call me tomorrow morning and let me know how you slept."
    What you could say instead: "I will call you to find out what I can do to help once baby arrives. I'm here for anything you need"

It is a well known fact that newborns don't sleep through the night. It just so happens that when you're VERY pregnant, you can't sleep well either. It is just a tad uncomfortable. There is really no need to give this piece of advice even if you are well-meaning. Pregnancy can be tiring and having a baby will be tiring. Eventually life will go back to normal and everyone will sleep once again. She already knows this and so do you.


     8.  OH, IT'S TOO BAD YOU'RE HAVING ANOTHER  GIRL/BOY.

    What the pregnant woman hears: "You're such a disappointment."
    What she wants to say back but won't: "It's terrible isn't it? I am actually having a chimpanzee."
    What you could say instead: "Oh, you're having another boy/girl? That's so exciting! The boys/girls you already have are so adorable."

The woman doesn't actually get to choose what she's having. Whether it is a disappointment to you or not, she does not really need to know. Do not assume that it is disappointing to her unless she has said so. Even then, please try to be encouraging.


     9.  YOUR FOURTH KID? WOW, YOU'VE BEEN AROUND THE BLOCK A FEW TIMES!

    What the pregnant woman hears: "There was an old lady who lived in a shoe...."
    What she wants to say but won't: "Yes. I'm Jenny from the Block, don't be fooled by the bump that I got."
    What you could say instead: Nothing. Nothing at all.

Nursery rhymes and pop songs aside, a woman who is having more than one child has experience. She's done it before. No need to comment.


       10.  IT'S GOING SOO SLOW

      What the pregnant woman hears: "I am growing impatient with your baby's incubation time."
      What she wants to say but won't: "I'm sorry that it's not going fast enough for you, is there anything I can do to make you feel better besides sit on the drier?"
      What you could say instead: "Have you done any fun baby clothes shopping while you're waiting for your precious one to arrive?"

Women are generally pregnant for about 40 weeks give or take a couple. It does not go faster or slower than that.

   

For most people, pregnancy can be exciting, interesting, mystifying, and fun. I'm sure that is why there is always a desire to discuss it when a pregnant woman is around. I truly enjoy talking about my pregnancy to others who have experienced it. However, there are boundaries that should be kept in mind when making comments. There are so many great things that can be said to a pregnant woman. Women who are expecting tend to be a little more sensitive than others so it would be wise to consider this prior to saying something. Also keep in mind that what you're saying has probably been said to her 8 to 10 times already that day. Make sure your comments are positive and uplifting. Otherwise, you may want to think about relocating.






"Pregnant Woman" photo by Patrisyu at freedigitalphotos.net

35 Uses For Lemon Essential Oil

Lemon is known as a powerful aromatic, topical, and internal cleanser.
Lemon Essential Oil from doTERRA is cold-pressed from lemon rinds to preserve its delicate nature and potent properties. This oil truly has limitless uses. Here are just a few:

(I got these from
http://www.doterraeveryday.com/101-uses/ but added one of my own)


Home Use
1. A Cure for Laundry Neglect. Lemon essential oil takes out ALL odor when you forget and leave your load of laundry in the washer way too long!

2. Tame Oozy, Sappy Trees. Whether the sap is on your carpet, clothes or seeped into your skin, lemon oil is excellent for removing pine gum and tree sap.

3. Stop Grease in its Tracks. You just fixed your bike. Your hands are black and greasy. Soap alone won’t remove the grease, but lemon oil mixed with your soap will.  Lemon oil is a great de-greaser!

4. Disinfect the Disgusting. You can add lemon oil to a spray bottle of water and attack what may be living in your range hood, on your tables, countertops and other surfaces. For some extra chemical-free firepower, a little vinegar is a traditional favorite.

5. Lose the Gas Mask. When you clean the gunky build up in your shower, do you practically have to wear a gas mask to survive the fumes? Go gas mask free and clean with lemon oil. Just a small amount of lemon oil will go a long way in removing hard water build up.

6. Nourish Your Leathers. Whether you ride a Harley in style or cherish the patina of your leather sofa at home, your leathers are not maintenance free. Use a lemon oil soaked cloth to preserve them, and prevent leather from splitting.

7. High Ho Silver. A lemon oil treated cloth is a great remedy for the early stages of tarnish on silver or other metals. You may not eat on silver every day, but bracelets, earrings, necklaces often need some love.

8. Deactivate the Sticky. Lemon oil can help you avert a hair cutting crisis the next time you deal with gum in hair. Got kids with obsessive addictions to stickers or temporary tattoos? Works for those too. Not for wide receivers.

9. Love Your Luster. Bring your furniture back to life with lemon oil! Just add a few drops of lemon oil to olive oil for a non-toxic furniture polish. Lemon oil leaves a beautiful shine, prevents fine wood finishes from drying out, and replaces lost moisture in antique woods as it penetrates worn finishes.

10. De-Smudge Your Stainless. You don’t need to hunt down that “single use” stainless steel cleaner anymore. Multi-use lemon oil is great for cleaning stainless steel appliances. You’ll love the way stainless looks and smells!

11. Clean Granite or Porous Stone. What is living in the pores of your natural stone counters or floors? Lemon oil cleans deeply, seeps into stone and leaves you with a “real fresh lemons” aroma, rather than that fake lemon chemical smell.

12. Energize your Brush.  If your toothbrush seems a bit tired, add a drop of lemon and peppermint oils to chase away that run-down feeling.

13. Quarantine Pungencies. Moldy kid’s sneakers, a baby’s blowout, potty training … it all adds up to an less than desirable aroma. Diffuse or spray lemon oil and neutralize odors at their source!

14. Take the Spine Out of Scuffs. Got a scuff mark that just won’t go away? Lemon oil lifts scuff marks in remarkable ways!

15. Curtail the Dank, Musty or Mildewed. Things get stored away. Things get old. Things don’t see the light of day. Chase away that “old smell” and inject new energy with a good lemon oil wipe down.

16.Stop Cutting Board Bacteria Palooza. Cutting boards can harbor bacteria in your kitchen.  Nobody wants to taste the chemicals you have in your cleaning closet, yet most people love the taste of lemon!

17. Control an Aphid Invasion, Naturally.  Aphids — those pesky little bugs that dine on your roses and other plants.  Lemon oil (or peppermint) with water in a garden spray bottle are a natural pesticide that kills aphids and their larvae on contact, but leave your plants looking lovely.

18. Spot-Free Dishes. Add a few drops of lemon oil to your dishwasher soap container with each load.  Your dishes will come out looking like new… spot-free!

19. Refresh Bad Smelling Washcloths. When your kitchen washcloths smell foul and could use a boost, add lemon oil to your detergent, soak overnight, wash, dry and your kitchen will smell so much better!

Cooking & Food
20. Energy Boost. For a quick, refreshing energy boost, combine a couple drops each of lemon essential oil and peppermint essential oil in a glass of water and drink up. Add a lemony taste to your bottled water.

21. Zest Up Your Sugary Indulgences. There are an infinite number of ways lemon oil can add a bit of freshness to your sugary savors: Lemon frosting • Lemon meringue • Sour cream lemon pie • Lemon cakes • Lemon tart glaze • Lemon squares  • Lemon cookies  • Breathtaking, awe-inspiring lemonade

23. Pep Up Your Entrees. With lemon oil, there are countless ways to make the bland zippy, or the blah peppy:  Roasted salmon & asparagus with lemon oil, Linguine & shrimp with lemon oil, Lemon oil drizzled over vegetables (especially broccoli),  Lemon garlic shrimp  … or to add a fresh kick to an already great salad.

24. Preserve What You’ve Got. Use lemon oil in a spray to keep your cut fruit fresh until serving.

Body & Mind
25. Ease Respiratory Gunkity Goop. When used with a humidifier, it’s a great way to slow wheezing, colds, cough, and other upper respiratory problems.

26. De-scratch Your Scratchy Throat. Adding a couple drops of lemon essential oil to warm water & honey can change that yucky sore throat feeling, slow a nasty cough, and douse a fever. Lemon oil fights bacteria, as well as viruses.

27. Honeylicious Hair Highlights …Chemical Free. Skip the expensive salon highlight treatment, and use lemon oil to create your own hair highlights.  Just go in the sun after using with your hair product, and it will lighten your hair.  Be careful, it works well!

28.  Fight the Fungus Among Us. Tired of seeing that unsightly nail fungus?  Lemon oil is great for nails, and can help fight against nail fungus.

29.  Halt the Nervous Nellie, In You. When combined with lavender oil and diffused into a room, you’ll find you feel less anxious, a better  mood, more even keel, and well … linear.

30. Clear Thinking & Clear Focus, Made Visible. A clear mind, a clean slate, a fresh outlook.  It’s all good.  Real good. Diffuse lemon oil and you got it.

31. Take the Heat Out of Cold Sores. When you have a gnarly cold sore that’s just begging for attention, douse it with a few drops of lemon oil and you’ll have a new best friend.

32. Nice Mood … No Really.  Chase away the moody blues (not the band), with a bit of blah-reducing lemon oil. Whether you choose to diffuse it or apply topically, it’s hard to not improve your outlook with lemon oil around!

33.  Was That a Crusty? Next time you notice hard, crusty skin on your feet, (e.g. corns, calluses or bunions) regularly add a few drops of lemon oil and you’ll soon have softened skin!

34.  A Brighter Complexion. Lemon oil can help remove dead skin cells and exfoliate.  For a homemade exfoliant, add 4-5 drops to a small amount of oatmeal and water for a homemade scrub.  Feels great!

35. Germ Killer. Use as a hand sanitizer. Just a drop on the palms and rub in!



To order Lemon Essential Oil or other Essential Oils from doTERRA click here.






"Lemon" by Master Isolate Images

The Power Of Z's

What's in a Z?

I wanted to write a blog post about sleep since the last few years have been quite troublesome for me in the sleeping department. As I was researching and learning, a thought came to me: Why on Earth do people use the letter "Z" to represent sleep? Was "Z" just a lonely letter and someone felt sorry for it so they felt it needed to be used for something? Why don't we use, say the letter "A" when referring to waking up in the morning? "I can not wait until morning when I can catch some A's!"
So, I decided to look it up. This has really no importance to the purpose of this blog but I was just so curious I couldn't help myself.
It all started with comic strips! You know how when you read comics you see a lot of words that represent certain sounds and actions? For example, Boom! Pow! Crash! Bang!
Those comic strip creators needed something to represent sleep. ZZZzzz just happened to sound  the most like snoring. To me, snoring sounds a little more like Gnfffnnnss. But, hey, who am I to judge? They started using Z and it caught on and has been handed down for years as a way of representing sleep. Honestly, I was hoping to find something much more in depth and interesting about why Z was used to explain sleep. It's a fun fact nonetheless!

Why Do Older People Wake Up So Early?

I wasn't sure if it just tends to happen as you get older or if it's just me but I seem to wake up on my own earlier and earlier as each year goes by. I remember when I was a kid I would wonder why my grandma would wake up before the sun came up and put the coffee on. I would think "Why would anyone want to get up this early!?"  I certainly want to sleep in everyday but why can't I?
Well, I realize that there are many factors that contribute to not being able to sleep. There are the obvious reasons why someone would get less sleep. These reasons would include things like stress, bladder issues, chronic illness, hot flashes in menopause, body aches, etc. I decided to find out what a less obvious reason might be.

Here's what I found:

When we get older our bodies produce less growth hormones and melatonin. These are 2 important sleep hormones. Melatonin effects our sleep cycle. When there is less melatonin being produced, people may find themselves getting tired earlier in the evening and waking up earlier in the morning.
Growth hormone is something that children have a lot of. This is why they are able to sleep so deeply. Less production of this hormone results in a less deep sleep for us older folks.

So, what can we 'melatonin and growth hormone deficient' people do?

• Getting at least 2 hours of sunlight per day can increase melatonin production.
• If you have trouble sleeping at night, limit napping during the day.
• Some people choose to take melatonin supplements though I have not tried this so can't really recommend it.
• Keep your body cool. As your body temperature drops, it signals to your body to produce more melatonin.

Sleep Does A Body Good

Memory booster!
Through a process called "consolidation" your sleeping body connects and improves your memory of something that you learned while you were awake. You can learn new things through practice but the memory of that learned skill is only enhanced through proper sleep. I was very engaged by reading about this process of consolidation. If you just started a new job, be sure to get a good amount of sleep after learning something new and you will be sure to retain it better!

Inflammation reducer!
I have direct experience with this. When I stay up late and wake up early, I notice more aches and pains in my body and my skin issues are worse. Studies have found that there is a particular protein called a C-reactive protein that is commonly associated with heart attack risk and it was found to be at higher levels in people who slept less than 6 hours per night. That's incentive for me!

Lessen depression risks!
Less sleep can increase anxiety. Anxiety and depression generally go hand in hand. A common sign of depression is insomnia. A proper amount of sleep for an adult is 8 - 9 hours per night. Sleeping is a restorative process. Your body is rebuilding itself. This includes your mental and physical state.

Boost creativity!
Looking for some inspiration? While sleeping, your brain can reorganize what is in it. This can result in your creative side coming to a more prominent place. "Researchers at Harvard University and Boston College found that people seem to strengthen the emotional components of a memory during sleep, which may help spur the creative process".


I think we're all aware that sleep is important. After reading many articles, I'm realizing that needing sleep is not just about trying to avoid being so irritable that you bite your husband's head off. Getting enough sleep is not just about feeling rested. It is essential to life, brain function, and creativity. I hope that you have been inspired to catch some more Z's or Gnfnnnss, whichever you prefer. I am so excited to pursue a life of lots more sleep. Although, I'm not so sure my family will be quite as excited as I am about this pursuit.






Sources:
http://www.cdc.gov/sleep/resources.htm
http://www.webmd.com/depression/guide/depression-sleep-disorder
http://www.cdc.gov/Features/Sleep/
http://www.health.com/health/gallery/0,,20459221_5,00.html
http://www.helpguide.org/life/sleep_aging.htm
http://www.livescience.com/13666-older-people-sleep-wake-early.html
http://longevity.about.com/od/sleep/a/sleep_aging.htm